in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
