So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I didn't notice because vodka
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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