i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
