I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
