Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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