I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
