She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
