I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize