If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
