You can't special order awesome
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
