But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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