so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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