Moan for me like Helen Keller
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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