He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
