I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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