Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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