seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
