i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
