Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
