His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
