Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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