No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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