felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
