You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
