you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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