Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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