Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
