He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
