Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
