i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
