plz talk dirty to me
Screwed.edu
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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