guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
