I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
