Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
