he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
then he tried to convert me to islam
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
