I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm both gender and math confused
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
