Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
