it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
only you would photoshop your dick
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
