How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
