can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
