Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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