Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
