When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
