yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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