There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
