Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
