I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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