She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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