the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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