i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
