Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's official drugs can't kill me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
