just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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