yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
