His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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