he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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