New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
